THE DEETER DIGEST 🥣
Your weekly bowl of CPG news, served with a side of spice
Issue #8 | December 22, 2025
Proudly seasoned by Trophy Wife - The Official Finishing Salt of The Deeter Digest. Because you are the prize, and so is this salt.
🥄 FIRST BITE
The appetizer before we dive in
Welcome to The Deeter Digest. This week, Diageo dumped East Africa for £2.3 billion, Unilever CEO promised to spend $1.7 billion annually on acquisitions, and someone finally made cottage cheese ice cream win money.
Plus: JAB cleans house at Coty, BUM Energy collabs with Gymshark, and Liquid I.V. approaches unicorn revenue. Let’s feast.
🍊 THE MAIN COURSE
This week’s biggest CPG moves
Diageo’s £2.3B African Exit
Diageo is selling its majority stake in East African Breweries to Asahi for £2.3 billion, continuing its three-year retreat from African beer. After divesting assets in Ethiopia, Cameroon, Ghana, and Nigeria, Diageo is officially done with African brewing to focus on premium spirits and power brands like Guinness and Johnnie Walker.
This is portfolio focus at massive scale. East African Breweries dominates its region, but regional beer doesn’t fit Diageo’s global premium strategy. Asahi gets immediate African scale while Diageo gets £2.3 billion to invest in higher-margin spirits. When the world’s largest spirits company abandons an entire continent’s beer market, you know margins matter more than maps.
Unilever’s $1.7B Shopping Spree
CEO Fernando Fernandez announced Unilever will allocate $1.7 billion annually for M&A, focusing on U.S. and Indian beauty brands. After Liquid I.V.’s 4x growth in four years approaching $1 billion revenue, more wellness deals loom. Recent hits include Dr. Squatch, Wild, K18, and Yasso.
This is Unilever admitting what works: Buy proven velocity, not potential. Liquid I.V. proves the model – acquire at scale, add distribution muscle, watch margins expand. $1.7 billion annually means 3-5 major deals or 10-15 emerging brands. With beauty and wellness dominating growth, expect more $100-500 million acquisitions of brands you already see at Sephora and Target.
Cottage Cheese Ice Cream Wins Cash
Smearcase won $100K at the Real California Milk Excelerator pitch competition. The cottage cheese-based protein ice cream secured Harmons, Whole Foods, Sprouts, and ShopRite distribution in 2025. Yes, someone made frozen cottage cheese appetizing enough to win money.
This perfectly captures 2025: Take trending ingredient (cottage cheese), add protein claim, make it dessert, win awards. Smearcase rides the cottage cheese renaissance while solving the “healthy ice cream tastes terrible” problem. When dairy farmers give you $100K for frozen cottage cheese, the protein-ification of everything is complete.
💰 THE FUNDING FRENZY
Big checks being written
Beauty & Wellness Wins
YSE Beauty raised $15 million Series A from Silas Capital and L Catterton. Molly Sims’ skincare brand expects $30 million revenue in 2026 after debuting at Sephora. Celebrity beauty with actual traction attracts real capital.
Moxie Beauty secured $15 million Series A led by Bessemer Venture Partners for Indian haircare expansion. NextFoods (GoodBelly/Cheribundi) raised $10 million from ECP Growth. Functional nutrition stays hot.
Strategic Investments
Alix Earle invested in GORGIE energy drinks (she previously backed Poppi and SipMARGS). Foodbeast Ventures made its first investment in Habiza Hummus. NFL star Ja’Marr Chase backed Flerish Hydration. When influencers and athletes turn VCs, distribution follows investment.
Hoboken Farms raised $4 million from its customer base – actual consumers funding their favorite pasta sauce. Started at farmers markets in 1992, hit retail in 2023. Sometimes the best investors eat your product weekly.
The Comebacks
Rae Wellness relaunched after shutting down in 2023. Founder Angie Tebbe reacquired and restructured the business. Justin’s is now standalone after Hormel sold 51% to Forward Consumer Partners. Justin Gold returns to revitalize his namesake brand. Second acts in CPG require patient capital and founder passion.
🏪 DISTRIBUTION DOMINATION
Everyone’s everywhere
Mass Market Momentum
Realsy added 111 Costco Midwest doors, expanding their functional beverage footprint. Remedy launches at Target December 28th. Vaughn’s Treats landed at Kroger. Sauz hit Hy-Vee, continuing its rapid expansion (now at Albertsons, Kroger, Wegmans, Sprouts, and Hy-Vee in 18 months).
Specialty Success
Freestyle Snacks launched three flavors at H-E-B after their Shark Tank win. Keya’s Snacks and Maazah both launching at Sprouts. Neutonic on UK’s Ocado. Louie Louie THC drinks at The Fresh Market. Premium retailers betting on functional, international, and cannabis-adjacent.
Digital & Convenience
Pretzelized at Walgreens marks another better-for-you snack cracking convenience. Little Sesame launched six flavors at Erewhon. TRUFF dropped a 13-oz SKU at BJ’s Wholesale. Distribution everywhere from luxury to bulk retail.
🆕 PRODUCT LAUNCHES & COLLABS
This week’s innovation (or lack thereof)
Influencer CPG Explosion
Sahil Bloom launched Wild Roman men’s skincare with grass-fed tallow and activated charcoal. The podcaster/creator joining the everyone-needs-a-beauty-brand movement. Clean ingredients, masculine positioning, built-in audience. The playbook writes itself.
BUM Energy x Gymshark created Gummy Thark flavor for the NYC flagship opening. Limited-edition energy drinks for retail openings – peak 2025 marketing. When gym brands need custom energy flavors, collaboration inflation continues.
International Invasion
TOSS salad dressing from UK channeling Graza’s premium positioning. Four flavors targeting the UK’s £1 billion dressing market. Penhaligon’s (Puig-owned) opening Dubai and London flagships. European brands betting on physical retail while Americans close stores.
Functional Expansion
O Positiv expanded MENO line with Heart, Eye, and Brain SKUs. Menopause wellness getting subspecialized. Urban Decay launched Tube Job Tubing Mascara. Sparkling Ice added soda-inspired flavors: Root Beer, Cherry Cola, Orange Cream. Even mascara needs clever names now.
Cannabis Adjacent
Louie Louie THC beverages channeling Napoleon House’s Pimm’s Cup. Highlandia from Lifted Made entering THC drinks. Uncle Arnie’s expanding lineup. Legal cannabis creating craft cocktail opportunities.
📊 THE DATA DIGEST
Numbers that matter
Velocity Winners
Liquid I.V. approaching $1 billion after 4x growth in 4 years under Unilever. Protein Pints has the #1 pint SKU at Target after six months. MASA selling 400K bags monthly at Sprouts. Gheelish hit $1.8 million in year one. Velocity at scale separates winners from wannabes.
Portfolio Pressure
TPG’s Anastasia Beverly Hills stake “largely wiped out” in debt restructuring – owned 38% in 2018, now 6%. Compass Diversified exploring sale of The Honey Pot one year after buying for $380 million. When PE math breaks, brands suffer.
Corporate Chaos
JAB shaking up Coty – Chairman Peter Harf departing, CEO Sue Nabi expected out. Market cap fell from $12 billion to $2.9 billion. Campari selling Amaro Averna and Zedda Piras for $117 million. Big CPG pruning portfolios aggressively.
Strategic Partnerships
L Catterton partnered with Haldiram (valued at $10 billion). Nutrabolt licensing to Nutraprep for India expansion. Fire Brands x Playboy for energy drinks. Licensing and partnerships replacing acquisitions for market entry.
📍 EVENTS THIS WEEK
Most events on pause for holidays. Use this time to actually rest before Q1’s trade show marathon begins. Expo West hotel bookings open soon – book now or sleep in your car.
🎙️ FROM THE PODCAST
Unpackaged Goods with Jonathan Deeter
Coming Tuesday - Episode 12: Diageo’s African exit strategy, Unilever’s $1.7B annual shopping list, and why cottage cheese ice cream won $100K. Plus: Is influencer CPG sustainable or just subsidized marketing?
Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
🔥 THE HOT TAKE
My unfiltered opinion on this week’s madness
Diageo selling East African Breweries for £2.3 billion while Unilever commits $1.7 billion annually to M&A tells the whole story: Big CPG is splitting into builders and buyers. Diageo’s pruning everything that isn’t premium spirits. Unilever’s acquiring everything that shows velocity. Both strategies work, but only one builds long-term value.
The cottage cheese ice cream winning $100K perfectly captures our current absurdity. Smearcase took the year’s trendiest ingredient and made it dessert. Of course it won money. Of course it’s at Whole Foods. Of course it has protein. This is peak 2025 – every food trend must be transformed into every other food format.
But the real story? Look at the comebacks. Rae Wellness relaunching after failure. Justin’s going independent again. These aren’t victory laps – they’re admissions that first attempts failed. The fact that founders can reacquire and retry shows CPG’s maturation. Failure isn’t final anymore.
Meanwhile, everyone’s launching something. Sahil Bloom needs skincare. Gymshark needs energy drinks. Playboy needs... energy drinks? When influencers and gym brands make CPG, we’ve reached peak brand extension. Not everything needs to be everything else.
TPG’s Anastasia Beverly Hills implosion warns of beauty’s volatility. From 38% to 6% ownership via debt restructuring. Compass exploring Honey Pot’s sale after one year. When PE gets burned, multiples compress. Good for buyers, painful for sellers.
The winners this week share DNA: Liquid I.V.’s billion-dollar march, MASA’s 400K monthly bags, Protein Pints dominating Target. Real velocity at real scale with real distribution. Everything else is just press releases.
📺 COMING MONDAY
The Deeter Digest: Week in Review
Breaking down why Diageo abandoned Africa and whether cottage cheese ice cream represents innovation or desperation.
🥫 ONE MORE THING...
Before you close this tab
Jeff Kozak joined Cazcanes Tequila after scaling WhistlePig from $1 million to $100 million. Steve Cahillane becomes Kraft Heinz CEO after splitting Kellogg’s successfully. Proven operators joining challenged brands.
But here’s what matters: Liquid I.V. approaching $1 billion proves patient capital beats quick flips. Four years under Unilever delivering 4x growth. That’s the model – buy good, make great, hold forever.
Until next Sunday (and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays), Jonathan Deeter Your CPG-Obsessed Friend
P.S.
Ancient Crunch brands MASA and Vandy sold 12,000 units in two weeks at Sprouts. When velocity hits immediately, buyers notice. The delisting season approaches, but proven performers survive.
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